You know them, you have seen them. Forty and fifty something year olds walking hand-over-waist with girlfriends barely out of teenage, downing whiskies in both cheap and expensive clubs, sneaking in and out of guest houses. Girls so young, the smell of colostrum lingers just below that of generic mix & match perfume. Am not kidding, you know that particular smell that babies and children have? The funny smell that doesn’t quite go away until one is in their early twenties? Yes, that one.
How does a forty year old date someone who still has that smell?
When I see a fifty year old man dating a twenty year old girl, I gasp. I try to fathom why a man who has eaten so much salt wants to taste a youngling junior enough to be his daughter.
It’s like walking into a restaurant and ordering a day old chick for lunch.
Gentlemen, don’t we have enough meat in the butchery?
Just to clarify, the main issue here is not the age gap, it is the level of maturity.
I do not disagree greatly with a thirty year old woman dating a sixty year old man if she does so under no duress. I don’t agree fully, but she is old and mature enough to make that decision. Damn her.
My issue is older men dating very young girls. As per my research, a girl under the age of twenty five is generally immature. Please don’t ask for scientific data. It is my research. She is still a baby, a real one and not the ‘babe’ kind of baby.
The difference between a forty year old and a thirty old is not the same as the difference between a thirty year old and a twenty year old. In the tens and twenties, a few years make a huge difference in maturity levels. As we grow older, age difference means little.
I therefore have a bone with young girls dating middle aged men and their grandfathers.
The thing of old men marrying young girls is not new. It is older than the birth of Jesus of Nazareth. The good book is aplenty of examples of such, including some so called great men.
While in the old days fertility might have been the excuse, lust might have been the real motive and it does persist to date!
Some say a midlife crisis could be reason for such. I ask, why not just learn how to Odi dance and leave it at that?
Aren’t relationships more fulfilling when you have a partner with whom you can talk about issues, share ideas, joys and sorrows? Someone who is mature and has a good perspective of life? Someone who can ably challenge your perspectives? Someone who has at least grown up around roughly the same time as yourself and can relate to your memories?
Me thinks men who date very young girls could also have an inferiority complex! There could be this need to dominate and control someone in all ways. Having that kind of control probably makes them feel powerful and superior, in their meaningless lives.
You see, the thing about mature women is that they have some level of self-composure and self-assuredness. There is an age beyond which a man cannot push a woman about absolutely. You may push her in one way or another, but you cannot dominate her fully the way a grown man dominates a young girl.
My uncle used to whip his wife scared, nowadays when he threatens to beat her, my aunt just stares at him like, go right ahead. He never does anymore. The dishes are not going to wash themselves, are they? Plus my cousins are big teenagers now and they could return the favour on her behalf. I think she could also beat him up now.
For such weak men, having a young girl they can easily control makes them feel powerful in a pathetic way.
This thing about how dating young girls makes some men feel younger is, in my view, indicative of a life that has regrets of things not done. If one is desperate to remain young then one has not found their life purpose, one has not found their happiness, one has not embraced the cycle of life and one is still not at peace with ageing and exiting this world gracefully.
I feel sorry for such men because of the empty void that haunts them. Please don’t ask me about older women who date younger men, am not a woman.