I’ve been away for a while. I took a long walk around the streets of Nairobi to ease my troubled mind but what I saw made it worse!
Have we crossed the line between under wear and outer wear?
I bet you two hundred shillings (okay, two fifty) if you walk around town in less than ten minutes you will spot a lady proudly strutting about in cheap bedroom stockings and a mini skirt. Yes, it is disturbingly common to see a lady in black flowery fishnets heading to work at seven in the morning.
When did sex wear become office dress? What happens in those offices where such women work?
Somebody slap me out of my ignorance here! What is the intention? Did I miss a memo?
Is it that an increasing number of city women do not know some of these garments are for-your-eyes-only?
Alas! If my grandmother were to rise from the dead today she would die again of another heart attack.
Listen here women (I will not call such kind of dressers ladies), when you dress like that men look at you and all they will think of is boning you. You put men in very uncomfortable mental situations at eight in the morning just as they are trying to focus on delivering value to their over-taxed employers.
Yeah, yeah, I know it’s a free world, and yeah I know you will say I have a dirty mind, as if you have opened it to check what is inside!
I have no problem admitting my mind is dirty if the reason for making such a conclusion is my resistance to flashing of thighs during office hours in the central business district. And am not saying thinly clad thighs should be flashed in the CBD after office hours, that is not the point here.
Women like to say men have dirty minds when we stare and lament at some of these types of dressing. But let me ask a question. When you walk around dressed in a manner that is almost transparent to what mother nature gave you, what are men supposed to think? If you dress in a sexy and provocative way, don’t you think we will look at you and see you as no more than a sex object?
Or you expect us to see you walking half naked and start thinking of boiled vegetables?
Already life is so hard in this country without being subjected to forceful exposure of thighs. Men are lookers, scientists have said this, not me. A man is peacefully driving to work, trying to bear the mad traffic while listening to some useless Nigerian song on radio, then out of nowhere a half dressed lass walks by the road side. Before he knows it he has hit the bumper of the car ahead of him! I am convinced most rear-bumping accidents are caused by men distracted by provocatively dressed women walking by. The University of Nairobi should carry out research to verify this hypothesis.
Fellow men, the worst happens when you are in the company of your girlfriend or wife and a hot thing walks past and like reflex you turn and take a quick glance. That glance is never quick enough because your lady will never miss it. I bet you one hundred and fifty shillings on this one.
Don’t worry men, I am here to save you. Should you find yourself in that situation, shake your head, stare at that passing bum and say to your lady.
‘That is so shameful, I don’t believe someone can dress in such a manner. How low have our morals become?’
Take another good look, satisfy your visual lust, and keep repeating while still shaking your head.
‘Disgusting, just disgusting’.
That, fellow men, is how you stare at another woman while in the company of your lady. She will even agree with you, ‘Yes, she is disgusting’.
Oh please, ladies, dress decently, won’t you?